Never letting go
by Sheena Wilde
Summary: WWII has started and Romano visits Spain to make him join the war but things turn out very different than they would have thought.


Spain heard the knocking and went to the door to open it. He wasn't taken aback when he found there Romano. The boy was in his military uniform and it surprised Spain a little – he had never seen him in it, even at the time of the World War, he never shew up in it. So even if Spain didn't know what will be the subject it would become obvious by now.

"May I come in?" Romano crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

"Of course, Roma!" he smirked at him like he had no clue why he came and stepped aside to let him in. Romano headed to the living room and sat on the couch, the older male followed him without a word sitting on one of the armchairs. "You know why I am here, don't you? That's why you aren't babbling as usual" Romano broke the silence with a voice that meant to be cold and emotionless but Spain noticed the childish anger.

"Yes, I know and I can't act normally. I am not going to join the war, Roma, and you can't persuade me" he said and quietly added while looking down. "I'm sorry."

"But you can't just sit here! Europe is burning and you have just decided to ignore it!" he stood up shouting, slightly trembling with anger. "I don't want this war either, but it went too far! If you don't join in your own will, then Germany will make you join! Do it for your own sake dammit!" His eyes filled with tears but he resisted, he didn't want to cry in front of Spain.

"Roma…" he whispered, stood up stepping to the boy and cupped his face. "You don't have to worry about me, I'll be fine…" he smiled at him but couldn't help the sadness that mixed into it. "You should worry about yourself…"

Romano looked up at him and as his eyes met with Spain's he couldn't hold back his tears anymore, they slowly started falling and rolled down on his cheeks. The older male wiped them off with his thumb still keeping on that sad smile.

"Don't give me that look!" Romano said sobbing.

"But I don't want you to participate this war. You're not meant to fight! I don't want you to die!" Spain himself burst into tears too.

"Don't cry, bastard, I won't die…" he mumbled watching the drops rolling down on the other's face and his wet eyes. "Spain…" he whispered, then pulled him down to his level and pressed his lips to his.

Spain froze, his eyes widened in shock and he neither protested nor kissed back. But Romano kept on kissing him wrapping his arms around his waist and pulled him closer. He deepened the kiss getting more passionate; his hands slid under Spain's shirt and started caressing his bare skin.

"Roma, what are you doing…?" the older man pulled away and gasped.

"Please, don't say anything, just… Just make love to me tonight!" he begged him looking down, a little shy.

Spain bit his lips and looked at him confused. He had always done everything for him as he wanted to make him happy but this time he wasn't sure he should give him this too. It wasn't like he didn't love to yet he didn't want to do it with him just because Romano was afraid of the war. But that look the boy gave him when saw him hesitating he knew he lost to him. As he was asked without a single word he leaned down to kiss him.

That night they melted into one. They instinctively knew what the other wanted despite never having done this or anything similar earlier. Spain never dared to touch him this way and for Romano it was his first time of enjoying this kind of pleasures. All night they didn't say a word, only soft moans broke the silence that covered them.

The morning came mercilessly and Romano crawled out of Spain's embrace as he got out of the bed then started dressing up. Spain turned to his side propping on his arm and watched him.

"This uniform suits you…" he said silently but added. "I wish it didn't."

"I have to go" Romano looked at him, only giving a sad smile as a reaction to Spain's comment.

"I know" he nodded. "Be careful. And come back" Spain didn't care about anything else. He looked back to those beautiful brown eyes and lost in them for a minute.

"Then good bye, Spain. See you after the war" Romano said turning his gaze away and stepped to the door.

"Yes. After the war. Bye, Roma…" he whispered and helplessly watched as the boy left. He felt his eyes filling with tears and he allowed himself to cry.

The war had ended with the Allies' victory. Germany and Prussia were separated, the older brother also forbidden to keep connection with the rest of Europe. North Italy and the other German had to stay in their house and mustn't talk with each other, the same with Japan. For the rest of the Axis they got a lower punishment.

For Spain he didn't care about it. Since the last day of the war he had been worrying about his little henchman, Romano. He didn't know what had happened with him during the past few years, they could barely contact each other. But a month later, when the conferences ended, he finally got a call from him saying he'd come over if it was possible. Spain assured him that he's always welcomed to come and got excited. But hearing Romano's voice also gave him concerns about their last encounter. He didn't know how he should act with him. He couldn't act like it had never happened; it wasn't that kind of issue. At least for him it meant everything. If he wasn't sure in his feelings towards him before; that night would make it clear how hopelessly in love he was with him. And that's why he couldn't just past it with a shrug…

But what was this for the boy? This question made him came to the conclusion that he should try to act normally and let him bring it up first. After all Romano had started it… He was the one who needed it…

When Spain heard the knocking he rushed to the door and opened it smirking happily when he saw Romano there. He wanted to hug him but stayed where he was instead.

"Holá, Roma! I'm so glad to see you! I missed you so much!" he smiled at him and invited him in stepping aside.

"Spain" Romano nodded and walked in. They went to the living room and sat down to the couch. Spain looked up and down on the boy.

"You became thinner… No good, you've been always thin anyway, you have to gain a little weight" he winked at him. "I already know what I'll cook you! Oh, Roma, it's so good that you're here! I was very worried about you!" Spain continued smiling and squirmed a little uncomfortable as he didn't dare to embrace him.

"You still speak too much" Romano mumbled with a slight smile then looked up at him, confused. "Hey, bastard, what's wrong?"

"Wrong? What do you mean?" Spain gave him a questioning look.

"Yeah… You haven't hugged me yet or something. Usually you cling to me whole time I'm here" he said slightly blushing.

"Oh, I see…" he smiled at him with fake happiness. "I give you all the hugs you want, Roma, I just thought…" Spain suddenly stopped speaking looking away when he realized he had said more than intended.

"Was it really that big deal? What happened last time…" Romano looked up at him, blushing and gave him a sad glance.

"You can't ask me to forget it" Spain whispered staring at his hands in his lap. "Cause I can't…" he chuckled nervously.

"You don't have to, I'm not asking it, I just… want to move on, I want to be able to act normally with you… like before… But if you can't…"

"Of course I can't! It's not that kind of thing that I could look over! This time you're asking too much!" he shook his head.

"I see… But if it bothers you, why did you agree to it? Why did you call me over now?!" Romano stood up angrily, his whole body slightly trembling in anger and desperation.

"I don't want to lost you!" Spain looked at him. "I just don't know how to handle the situation! It's you after all!"

Romano stayed silent for a few moments. "And this makes it different from any of your other one night stands?"

Spain gasped unable to believe what he heard. "You can't be serious! I would never think of you like that!" he protested and looked at his eyes. "Do you want to know what I think? What did I feel when I held you in my arms? I was sad knowing that you're just searching comfort and don't want me! I didn't want to do it with you like this… But I did it for you…"

"You idiot!" Romano stared at him shocked. "You can't be serious! I didn't want it with anybody, I wanted it to be with you to pretend that you love me just like I do…" he looked away and blushed.

"Love?" Spain blinked surprised. "Roma… are you in love with me?" When the boy nodded he stood up too and stepped to him. "You don't have to 'pretend' anything…" he cupped Romano's face. "It seems I should've told you earlier but I love you too…"

He barely had time to finish his sentence as the boy instantly pulled him down to a kiss. He returned it passionately and embraced him like he would never let him go.

"Seems? You really are an idiot…" he shook his head but smiled.

Spain pulled him closer resting his forehead on his and smiled back at him. "But it doesn't matter anymore… Does it?"

"No" Romano agreed. "It doesn't…"


End file.
